Arguments of a Nerdy Couple: Spiderman, The Musical

Say it now, say it now
Explain to me
Why this happens to me every time
Give me a clue or tell me why
I just can’t walk away…

“Ye Gods, they’re turning Spiderman into a B-Grade chick flick.”

“If you look closely, you can actually see some undertones of High School Musical.”

“I know: that scene in the second one where Vanessa gets all ‘oh, you’re being so mean’, and Zac Efron starts singing while he’s crying…”

“That’s the one.”

Rose sniffed contemptuously, sinking in her seat and grimacing at the stage where the two actors 

were singing their heart-rending duet.

“The only saving factor in this thing are the funky lights and sets,” she groused. “And the costumes; they’re kind of Alexander McQueen meets Lady Gaga. But honestly, ‘Sinister Six’? Which idiot came up with that name?”

“The same idiot who came up with a name like ‘Batman’.”

“Don’t start!” she warned. “We already did the dramatic exit sequence in the restaurant! We’re gonna be blacklisted there from now on!”

“Ssshh!” hissed a voice from behind them. John and Rose threw apologetic glances behind them and turned their eyes back to the stage.

“Broadway is supposed to be complete and utter musical magic,” Rose sighed, gazing sorrowfully at the actors, who were finishing their song.

“This is your first time on Broadway?”

“No, I came here and watched ‘Cats’ once upon a time when I was a wee lass still in primary. We 

 were visiting my Da’s sister, Marie, here in New York, and she took us. I had already seen it before on West End, but Broadway was brilliant too.”

“’Cats’ is supposed to be a classic. That explains your fascination with felines.” He made a face.

“Oi, don’t disrespect the cats!” She elbowed him in the ribs.

“I would have expected you to name them something weird then, like Grizabella or Rum Tum Tugger.”

“I did consider naming one Asparagus.”

John wrinkled his nose. “I like the name Biggles, personally.”

She poked him in the side, grinning teasingly. “You like my cats!” she said in a sing-song voice.

“I like their names,” he said defensively. “Biggles, Phantom and Haddock. Fantastic choices.”

“My favorite captain, my favorite hero at the time and my favorite drunk.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t name one Bruce.”

“It could have been after Springsteen.”

He shuddered. “I’ll stick with the Proclaimers, thanks.”

“Sssshhh!”

“Sorry!” John and Rose clamped their mouths shut and tried to concentrate on the show. It wasn’t long before John spoke up, his voice a low murmur.

“I watched ‘The Lion King’ here once,” he remarked.

Rose tuned to stare at him so fast that she nearly got whiplash. “No!”

“Yep.”

“Seriously?”

John’s smile turned smug. “Yep.”

Rose fell back against her seat, scowling petulantly. “I hate you,” she muttered at him.

“No, you don’t,” he grinned. She snorted lightly.

“The Lion King,” Rose groused. “You saw the bloody Lion King here. Ye Gods. Honestly, I think Reeve Carney over there and Bono are the only thumbs ups about this whole shenanigan.”

John snorted. “I’ll agree with Bono. Carney’s a weedy bugger.” He looked at her pointedly. “Don’t tell me you fancy him.”

“He’s easy on the eyes,” she shrugged, turning to look John up and down. “And you’re one to talk about weedy.”

“I’m not weedy,” he said loftily. “I’m trim, tall and I’ve got long legs. I do a lot of running. And you love it.” He poked her on the forehead. “Besides,” he added with a nonchalant air. “The MJ girl’s pretty hot.”

Rose laughed out loud. “Liar! She’s not even your type!”

“And how would you know my type, Rosie Rose?” He raised a brow at her.

“You’re dating me, blockhead,” she knocked him on the head with a knuckle. “The MJ girl is 

definitely not your type. She’s not even a real ginger!”

John fingered a lock of Rose’s yellow hair, glancing at the russet roots. “You’re not even a real blonde.”

“You love it,” she retorted, sticking out her tongue.

“Shut up!” the voices behind them hissed even louder this time.

“Sorry!” they whispered back, huddling lower in their seats. Rose scooted closer to John’s side and let him put his arm around her shoulders.

“At least someone seems to be enjoying this clown show,” she muttered.

“If they fancy seeing a guy in a green Power Rangers mask masquerading as one of the most brilliant 

villains in Spiderman history while belting out jingles on top of the bloody Chrysler building…”

“At least he can sing.”

“I’ll give him that.”

She turned to look up at him. “John?”

“Yes, Rose?”

She blinked her large eyes at him. “Do you like Spiderman?”

“Yes, Rose,” he said gravely, “I do like Spiderman. Do you like Spiderman?”

“Yes, John,” she nodded seriously. “I do like Spiderman.”

“Even though he has powers?”

“The fact that he’s a kid is appealing. New angle.” She smiled brilliantly. “Glad to see we agree on 

something.”

He leaned in closer to her. “Then what the hell are we both doing here?”

“This was your idea, genius.”

“Want to bust out?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” she beamed.

“And bowling green you’ll see with meeeeeee!” John suddenly howled along with the actor’s singing. The crowd ruffled angrily as people wheeled around in their seats and yelled at the two of them to shut up.

“We’ll bathe in Brighton,” Rose sang loudly, trying to stifle her giggles. ”The fish you’ll frighten!”

“When you’re in your bathing suit so thin, will make shellfish grin from fin to fin!” John grinned broadly at Rose, doing a little jig as he winked cheekily at her.

“Only the shellfish?” she demanded over the irritated protests of the crowd around them.

“Oh, I’m a shellfish, love!” he exclaimed, his eyes gleaming. “Here come the ushers.” He held out his hand. “Ready to run for it?”

She grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers tightly. “As ready as ever!”

Even as the ushers tried to grab them to escort them out of the theatre, John and Rose vaulted over the seats and slipped around them, running past the angry audience. They didn’t stop until they were out of the theater and far away. Backing up against the wall, they panted for breath, chests aching from giggling. John hoisted Rose up by the hand, which he had not released, pulled her to him, tangling one hand in her hair, and kissed her soundly.

“I love you,” she sighed as she broke away, her arms coiled around his neck.

He winked, pecking her on the nose. “Don’t I know it.”

She slapped his chest playfully. “So what do you want to do now?”

“You want to go back to my apartment?” he asked. “I just got the Avengers DVD. We could watch it to make up for the nosh back there.”

“Just the Avengers?”

“Well,” he dragged the word out, slinging his arm around her shoulders and tugging her against his side. “I’m sure there are plenty of things we could do after to keep us entertained.” He looked at her with a broad grin and waggled his eyebrows, making her laugh.

 “Sounds like a plan,” she beamed. Rose looped her arm around his waist and they took off at an easy pace.

“The Avengers are pretty brilliant,” John quipped as they walked, “but everyone knows that the real core of the team is Captain America.” “Iron Man,” Rose said at the same time.

They stopped and stared at each other, eyes narrowing.