Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Shared Space




The maple avenue in the northern part of the park had been his personal haunt for years, being the only place in the city where he could get any work done. His dorm room was always haunted by his roommate’s girlfriends. His friend, Rick, was in the Chemistry department; the last time he had tried to work in his room, an accident had resulted in a gaping hole through his copy of Tennyson’s poems. Drake Johnson always managed to hunt him down in the library and the cafeteria was an invitation for disaster. Here, he had always managed to find a measure of peace, enough to sit and concentrate on his literature, until this girl had invaded it a fortnight ago.

Her presence had irritated him at first. Not only did she occupy his spot, she also brought her dalmatian along with her. It always eyed him so thoroughly, growling lowly in its throat, as if sizing him up to see who would win in a fight if he tried to chase it and its owner away. Once, when he had made an aggravated face at it, it had barked loudly at him, making him scramble backwards and grab for his books. The girl had reined it in, apologizing profusely, and had offered to leave if she was bothering him. To his surprise, he had let her stay.

They had settled into a seeming routine for the next week or so. He would be annotating his paper on ‘Tristan and Isolde’ and she would be tapping her feet to whatever song was playing on her iPod. He was always there before her, drinking a cup of the strongest espresso he could get. She would join him a few minutes later, give him a polite smile of acknowledgement and sit on the opposite bench, swaying silently to her music.

He didn’t have the best track record with girls; every crush he had ever had had ended up dating his friends or the bullies who enjoyed beating him up in gym class. On his own part, he would get so shy around a pretty girl and his mouth would run a mile a minute in defense, and he would end up spouting streams of trivia until she made an excuse to leave.

His roommate hadn’t taken long to deduce that there was a girl in his life. How he figured it out, he would never find out. He figured that it was something about serial daters in general: they could always find out when evasive answers translated into a female. 

“Who is she?”
 
“I told you, Dave, there isn’t anyone.”

“I’ve known you for two years and I’ve known nerdkind for longer. You’ve got it bad, man! Is she pretty?”
 
“Don’t even think about it.”

“Aha!” He had pointed a triumphant finger at him. “I knew it! Come on, what’s her name?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’ve been mooning after the girl for two weeks and you don’t know her name?”

“I haven’t been mooning!”

Dave had caught the book he had thrown at him. “You leave at the same time every day and come back looking like a plastered arse. You’re practically stalking her!”

“I am not stalking!” he had snapped. “And how do you manage to unstick yourself from Lisa long enough to see me leave?”

“Lisa…is that her name? Oi, keep your books to yourself!”

“Moron.”

“You’re worse.” Dave’s face became serious as he grabbed him by the shoulder and fixed him with a stare. “Look here, if you don’t man up and go talk to the girl, someone’s going to take her before you even get the sense to try.”

He knew that he was in a bad state when Dave’s words made sense. He had moved more hesitantly that day when he left his dorm room with his laptop bag and a copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets under his arm. He had been so deep in thought that he had tripped and spilled half his usual espresso into a potted plant outside the coffee shop, narrowly missing a woman and her baby. 

I’m a goner, he had thought hopelessly as he sputtered apologies to the outraged woman and fled. He had taken a breath and stopped in front of a shop window. Turning to face his reflection, he had straightened up to his full lanky height, fixed his tan corduroy jacket over his sweater vest and tie. Checking his reflection in a shop window, he had puffed his chest out and smoothed back his wavy hair. Plastering on a confident grin, he had practically strutted all the way to the local park. When he had reached his usual bench, she was already there. She had glanced at him and smiled. 

His own smile faltered as he felt a sensation in his chest like a deflating balloon. She looked even prettier than usual with her brown hair tumbling loosely over her shoulders, held off her face with a tartan headband to match her scarf. He threw her a shaky smile in reply and pretty much scurried to his own bench.

I can’t do this, he thought miserably. Her headphones were in her ears again and her fingers swayed like a conductor’s baton on her lap. Her dark Rayban sunglasses prevented him from knowing whether she was watching him or if her eyes were closed. He wondered what kind of song she was listening to. Maybe she was listening to old fashioned Billie Holiday or Gershwin, or perhaps, boy band love ballads from the 90’s. Perhaps, she was one of those quiet girls who loved AC/DC and Metallica or a closet rap or heavy metal maniac. Maybe she was listening to a Mozart harpsichord piece or a Schubert violin composition. He silently hoped that she wasn’t into goth music or Justin Beiber. 

“What are you listening to?” he found himself asking. Immediately, he clapped a hand over his mouth, cursing himself for letting his thoughts slip out. 

She raised her brows quizzically and took off her headphones. “Excuse me?” Her voice was pleasantly musical. 

“I was wondering,” he stammered, “what are you listening to?”

“Oh,” she smiled and extended her headphones. “Do you want to hear?”

He blinked. “That’s all right?”

“Sure. Here.” He closed his laptop and moved over to sit next to her, keeping an agreeable space between them. Her dog gave him a suspicious look, but she patted it on the head and it dropped down again, though keeping an eye on him. He took her headphones from her and pulled them over his ears.

He smiled lightly to himself as the gentle, yet powerful strains of a symphony concerto wafted through his ears. As the orchestra played, a piano thrummed strongly in a haunting tune. He took off the headphones and handed them back to her.

“Very nice,” he found himself grinning. “What is it?”

“Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto no. 2 in C Minor,” she replied, taking her headphones and placing them in her lap. 
 
“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s one of my favorite pieces. You like classical music?”

“I like listening to it, yeah. Do you play anything?”

“Yes, the piano. I’m a music student; my orchestra is working on this piece.”

He raised his brows, impressed. His breath caught lightly in his throat as he recalled the powerful drumming of the piano in that piece. An image floated into his mind: her attired in a long black dress, her fingers moving with unerring skill over the ivory keys of a grand piano while the orchestra behind her struggled to keep up with her pace.

“Wow,” he replied slowly, swallowing audibly. “I was in my school band once,” he quipped.

“Really? What did you play?”

“The triangle,” he said with a sheepish grin. She laughed merrily at his embarrassed tone; he found himself smiling at her chuckling. Oddly, he did not feel mocked as he would probably in any other situation. 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” he flustered, offering her a hand. “I didn’t introduce myself! I’m Arthur, Arthur Grayson.”

“Nice to meet you, Arthur,” she replied pleasantly, lifting her own hand to shake. He grabbed it nervously. “I’m Gwen.”

“Gwen,” he tested the name on his tongue. “Is that short for something?”

She raked her fingers through her hair in a sheepish gesture. “Guinevere,” she admitted, “but don’t tell anyone.”

“Why? It’s a pretty name.”

“A mite bit old fashioned,” she shrugged. “I used to get teased for it. My parents are big fans of literature. They get their switching fancies from time to time. If I had been born a few years earlier, I might have been Arwen, from…”

“The Lord of the Rings,” he completed, nodding. “Arwen is a good name. They could have named you Galadriel.”

“Gorgeous name, but imagine going through high school with that.”

Arthur grimaced. “I can imagine. So your mum and dad fancied L’morte d’Arthur. Good taste.”

“You read a lot, I presume?”

“I’m a lit student,” he replied. “Reading is a part of my job description.”

“Really?” Her face seemed to light up as she scooted around to face him more properly. “What are you working on right now?”

“Well,” he said cautiously, “right now, I’m working on a paper describing female archetypes in fifteenth century literature, mostly from the King Arthur legends, old mythology and related texts. I also have another paper regarding my personal interpretation of Goethe’s Faustus regarding the relationship between Faust and Mephistopheles. I’m also working on a little extra credit project about Shakespeare’s sonnets and his fascination with the iambic pentameter.”

He bit his lip slightly after finishing his explanation. Most girls blinked blankly at him, called him a nerd or became obsessively romantic. Instead, Gwen gave an interested nod and a cheeky grin.

“I bet you barely sleep with that kind of workload. It explains your need for strong coffee. The smell of it fills the whole avenue! It’s how I can always tell when you’re coming.”

He blushed and hid a smile. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she said airily. “So what female archetype do I fit into?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly. In truth, he did not know if she could be categorized as easily as the women of literature. There was something about her that interested him to no level. 

“Spoilsport,” she teased.

“You might just be an archetype of your own,” he said airily.

“If you say so,” she shrugged, her lips twisting in amusement, “King Arthur.”

“I do say so,” he shot back, startled at his own boldness, “Queen Guinevere.”

Her cheeks colored a faint pink at his retort and he felt like kicking himself. He opened his mouth to stutter an apology, but held himself back and instead, plucked up his courage and asked pointedly, “So, does Queen Guinevere like coffee?”

“No.” His heart sank at her abrupt reply and he shifted a bit away from her, his face coloring in embarrassment. She seemed to notice because she cried, “No, it’s not like that! It’s just….”

“Just what?”

“Arthur,” she said slowly, “you’re nice, really. I’m just not used to this. Sorry.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Most boys…don’t really like me.”
 
“I don’t get how. You’re very…interesting,” he said lamely. 

She laughed before sobering. “Did you ever wonder why I wear shades in the autumn?” she asked slowly.

“No,” he replied warily. “I thought you just liked them.”

Gwen reached up and took them off. Her face looked brighter and lovelier without them; he quietly wondered why she kept them on. Slowly, she opened her eyes and turned to face him. Her irises were a bright summer blue, but the dots that were her pupils were milky white.

“You’re…”

“Blind.” She turned away from him. 

“But how do you play the piano?” he asked in bewilderment. “How do you know about books?”

“I wasn’t born blind,” she replied. Her shoulders seemed to hunch inwards. “I was a bit of a prodigy on the piano and have an eidetic memory; those help. And my parents used to read to me a lot.”

“I see.” She looked so fragile, like a lost child. The world was as unfair as those in books; she was too sweet a person to be so sad. Clearing his throat, he asked, “Well, if Queen Guinevere doesn’t like coffee, then what does she like?”

“I can’t see, Arthur. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“King Arthur can see enough for both of them and can help her where she needs it, as long as the Queen’s dog doesn’t decide to rip his leg off.”

She threw her head back and laughed, the sound reverberating in their maple avenue like a lark’s call. He found himself grinning foolishly.

“Queen Guinevere likes macaroons.” she replied, beaming at him. “Chocolate macaroons and black tea, and she knows a wonderful place to get them.”

He stood up and took her arm, looping it gallantly around the crook of his own. “Lead the way then, and don’t put those back on,” he stopped her as she was about to wear her shades. He blushed. “You look nicer without them.” 

“You do know how things ended with Arthur and Guinevere, don’t you?” She beamed teasingly as she stowed her Raybans away.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Then, I’m glad that no person goes and names their kid Lancelot.”


Thursday, 25 April 2013

Letters



Dearest Rosie Rose,

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Or not. I actually don’t like the smell of roses, you know that? Honestly, you smell better than the stupid flowers. And I know that you’re named after them and everything, but hey, you don’t like them much either.

Life is boring. Nothing interesting to report.

I’ve been saving up for the past year or so and I think by the end of May, I might finally be able to go apartment hunting, get my own place. I’ve actually got my eye on this little loft I found a little ways off Heatherdale Avenue, not too far from the uni. It’s a bit pricey, but it’s kind of like what we mapped out together, remember? Two bedrooms, one bathroom, nice little kitchenette to burn crumpets in… And you know the best part? It’s higher than most of the streetlights, so there’s actually a chance of seeing some stars out the skylight window.

Nice, eh? I made some enquiries with the bloke who owns it. Seemed like a nice guy; his wife makes great brownies. You’d love her. This just might be it, Rosie Rose. It’d be pretty nice, wouldn’t it? A place to call my own. Or our own, if you want. I mean, you’re joining NYU for the spring semester, so you wouldn’t have to stay in the dorms if you didn’t want to. Or you could, if you want. I hear the girl’s dorms are nice; better bathrooms than the boys’ anyway. But it’s just a thought. I dunno.

Anyway, write me back and do it properly. Imagine us saving these up to show to prospective great grandchildren. Not that I’m suggesting, but… I’m going to shut up now. Love you. Miss you. RSVP.

Frog’s legs,

John

PS. You wouldn’t happen to know where my Indiana Jones fedora is, would you?



Dear John,

I have got to get a proper nickname for you, better than Indy. God knows you’ve got enough ego as you are without me comparing you to Harrison Ford. Starting a letter with ‘dear John’ sounds so bloody wrong when I’m writing to you. Bah humbug.

The apartment sounds like a dream. Does it really look like our drawings? You think you’ll be able to afford it? I mean, I’d love to pitch in for it; I’ve got a good amount saved besides my own college fund. I’ve cut down on the books shopping a bit and restricted myself to the library, so my bank balance is not depleting so much. I’ll help you get it; it sounds too good to lose. Send me pictures if you can!

And I suppose if I’m going to help you buy it, it only makes sense for me to also enjoy the place. It’s logical. Kind of equivalent exchange. I mean, I think I could put up with you every day as long as you wash your own socks ansd make those chocolate chip pancakes on Fridays. It’ll be easier for me to raid your wardrobe. It might be good for us if there are prospective great grandchildren in the equation. It just won’t be easy convincing Uncle Connor and Auntie Ailie, especially Auntie Ailie. I hope she doesn’t slap you too hard for suggesting it.

Otherwise, life is dull. I miss you too, you bugger. I know we could set up Skype chats, but this is nicer. Old fashioned. Like you said, something for the great grandchildren.

Anyhoo, nothing else really. I love you.

Frog’s legs,

Rose

PS. If you want your fedora back, a ransom of a lightsaber and a sonic screwdriver must be paid. Do you accept?

Reboot

Hello, welcome and welcome back and above all, my most profound apologies. Really, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I've been neglecting this poor blog for a long time, but in my defense, I had a lot going on.



College had me held up with my thesis work, which I have completed to the most level. Just one final step to have it done once and for all. It's been a long five year ride and I honestly have no idea what it'll feel like at the end. As a result of overwork and late nights and perpetual insomnia, I was rendered mentally exhausted for weeks together and I tell you, it really sapped at my inspiration levels. As a result, there haven't been any new short stories among my recent work.

None except the one. That workshop on Wattpad is over and I wrote one last short for Alice's prompts there. Another John and Rose. Gods, I had missed them. I'll put that up shortly here and I welcome any sort of plot prompts if anyone can provide them.

Other than that, I've been working more on my larger writing project, which I'm running a final edit on before looking for editors and book consultants. Can't wait to get started on that; it's been close to six and a half years since this first started and it'll be great to finally get this on board.

Anyhoo, nothing much else has been going on. So yes, I'll be updating more regularly and here's a tidbit of John and Rose for ya.

Tally hoo! And now, back to writing!


Thursday, 14 March 2013

Not Today



The trenchcoat hung long over Sam’s arms, falling close to his fingertips and trailing close to his ankles. Otherwise, it was tight on his person, making him look barrel-chested in spite of his slight build. He was quietly grateful for the layers as he stood on the cliffs alone with the nippy wind snapping at his face.

He had been coming there to that same spot nearly every week for almost a year. He would pack an overnight bag and drive from his home on Sandfield Park in Ennis, all the way down to the Moher Cliffs. On reaching, he would park his car out on the grass, walk over near the rock and stare out at the sky unmarred by any false light, where he could see every star and constellation and feel the clean, cold wind rush through his lungs and fill him with that strange euphoria that it had brought him all his life.  He would spend the night gazing at the sky and the day standing on the cliff, staring out at the sea and stone towers. And every time, he would pack his things and go back home with the same refrain in his mind.

Not today.

He cursed his fears that clashed so strongly with his desires, leaving him in a constant state of conflict. The wind blew circles around him, clasping him and releasing him in loving embraces, pulling him closer and closer to the edge. It sang in his ears and in his heart, calling to him to just let go and feel, feel like he was born to for once in his life.

Thirty years you have held back, the wind would whisper to him. Now just let go.

But he never did.

He always made it to the very edge, his shoes teetering half off the brink, when he would pause. He would think of his mother who loved him, but smiled at him like he was a wild animal rearing to bite; his father who enlisted multiple private doctors, none of whom had been able to cure him. He would remember his sister, who cared for him, but preferred to keep her own family away. He had enough friends to count on one hand and a girl whom he loved with all his heart. She thought it odd, but strangely endearing that he wore heavy coats all the time.

But today, it was different.

His mother had cried. His father had bellowed. His sister had walked away. His friends had forgotten him.

And Anise was getting married.

Monster. Freak. Not my son. I have no brother. Goodbye, Sam.

He raised his eyes to the pale heavens, feeling the sky’s song well up heavy in his heart. The world would not hold him back. Not today, not ever again. For once in his life, he needed to be real.

He undid the belt of his trenchcoat and shrugged it off his person, letting it fall to the grass. Methodically, he popped the buttons of his oxford shirt and peeled it off his shoulders, leaving his thin torso naked to the cold wind. From his back, a pair of bronze wings unfurled and glistened in the light like twin suns. Their tips rose high above his head, the muscles in them stretching from their constant bondage, basking in their freedom. The wind’s song grew louder, rustling through his feathers and beckoning him.

      Come to us, it called. Fly with us. We will love you as you should be loved. As you should always be loved.

      Sam listened. And Sam jumped.